Atonment Confusion

Christ, the victim of my sin. This is the claim. And yet, He wasn't quite a victim at all.

Once when I was first saved, I attended a weekend at a conference center, what it was all about I don't exactly remember at this point. I had an experience there, and an epiphone. We were singing praises to the Lord and we were given instructions to go out to a given place where a cross lay upon the ground. We were each given a nail and a hammer and we were told to go and nail a nail into the cross to symbolize the sin that Jesus took for us. Fine. After worshipping the Lord, I was ready to take my turn. Off I went to receive the nail and the hammer... there were people all around. I knelt down to put my nail in the cross. I loved Jesus so much. I had been saved from such a life of sin and misery. I had come to know Him as a Father and friend. Now here I was, knelt down, ready to nail my sin to the cross. I paused. The weight of it hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't know if the people behind this activity had this in mind when they decided to do this but it began to really impact me. I didn't want to sink that nail. I didn't want to kill Jesus. I didn't want it to be me... although in reality He already did it. He had already done it in my life by saving me, by living in me and changing me... there was proof of His presence in my life, and yet, face to face with that cross and the fact that I was the one who had already sunk many nails into that cross I just didn't want to do it again. I didn't want to admit that it was ME that put Him there. Each time I continue to sin, each time I had sinned in the past.

At that time I realized something. Christ Jesus knew exactly what I had done, He saved me while I was in the thick of my sin. He pulled me out of my sinful lifestyle slowly like someone pulls a man out of quicksand. But I was SAVED. And He did it. Realizing this, kneeling there, I figured that if I was going to do it, I better do it well! I found the closest place to where His heart would have been... and pounded in my nail. I thanked Him for the forgiveness that He had afforded me even after I had murdered him with the cross of my sin.

So here is the question. Is Jesus JUST a victim? Is he constantly wounded and "victimized" by me? Or you? Or the world? No. No He is not! To think that a saved person still stands in that moment is blaspheme. HE IS RISEN. He was victorious over our sin... in that moment and from all eternity. Yes, we killed him, yes, God saw fit to put His own son on a cross for us. God did kill His own son. Our sin was the means by which God killed Him. Not because He was blood hungry, not because we are victimizers who need a victim, rather because God works everything out to His glory. He does all things well. He is most glorious in his resurrection. There is a heavenly battle being raged and yet we think we are so important. The Almighty is the important one here. He is going to shine in His glory for eternity. It is for His victory that He allowed us to put Him there. He is victorious over the grave. All things in creation are being put under Christ's feet and how else could death be put under if He was not raised? We are not yet raised... but we will be. Dead were raised at the resurrection of the Lord. They will be again when He returns. He will return because He said that He would. He isn't just some wimpy guy, taking our whippings. He is Lord of all, and through Him all things were made. The plan was made. The plan is being unfolded. We don't live in pseudo humility for being sad that we "put Jesus on the cross, that we victimized Him". Rather I live in joy and humility that a)He saved me while His enemy b)that He doesn't treat me as I deserve still... because I AM CURRENTLY A SINNER c)just like I didn't want to put that nail in the cross of my Father and friend, I live now to please Him. I want to please Him because I love Him. I love Him because He first loved me. It is beautiful.

He put Himself on the cross. No one victimized Him. He was always victorious, He just decided to share some of that victory with His friends. He is Lord of all although we don't yet see all things subjected to Him.

Maybe I have got this nonviolent atonement thing all mixed up. But it seems to encompass our view of present and future in the reality of heaven and hell. It seems to encompass our lifestyles and our views of sin. I don't think I believe that Jesus just takes my whippings and I just whip him. Yes, we are sinners, break that down however you may... but He gave me a new nature. I know and can do differently now. He is risen and victorious. Just seems like a lot of this has to do with people wanting to excuse their sin and use their sinful proclivities to somehow preach the gospel to lost people. I personally remember the people who spoke to me about Jesus. Their lives were imperfect and yet they had a whole separate holiness to them because they lived what they believed. Heck... now I am rambling.